The Path Heading to a Greater Happiness

Posted by Shanty Socialite

Last weekend I went to my home church in Pampanga, which for me is one of the happiest places on earth. I sing with people who have the same faith as I do, while jumping because of the joy brought by the praise songs. While I was there I considered making the following resolutions: to be happy, to relax and to see old friends. I was able to fulfill the last two resolutions. However, to be happy, on its real sense seems far from me.
People want happiness. It might be a cliche already but being happy has been the ultimate goal of everyone- it is the ultimate goal of my life.

I have been taught by my Pastor that happiness does not depend on whom you are with or what you have with- it’s a matter of choice. You are happy because you choose to be happy, and you are sad because you choose to be sad. Quite simple, but definitely hard to do.
Like in my situation, wherein I am torn between two paths. Both would lead me to happiness, but the question on which one would lead to a greater happiness remains a quest for me.
These thoughts were triggered more by a song I heard on a radio with the lyrics, “Do you know, where you are going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to? Do you know?…”

I have been thinking about the same questions for sometimes. Then I finally realize that I am still confused on which path should I walk into.

I decided to study Mass Communication to fulfill a vision. That vision is to work as an Advocate of a Christian organization who is fighting for women’s rights. A big company in Europe supported me on this journey. Right then, I said to myself that I am ready to play my role in that organization. But things do not happen the same way as we see it. The Christian organization was closed last year. At first, I am sad because that would mean, I do not have a “sure” job, as what I call it. But this journey should continue. I choose to see myself in another way- in a more broad area where I can see myself competing with other people looking for a job and exploring the world of media. Somehow, it gives excitement to me. I have fear, but the faith is more evident.

I am ready to step my feet on that uncertainty until the company who is supporting me offers me the same work as what I supposed to be working in that Christian organization. I am happy but I do not understand why I can not find that intense feeling inside of me.
The two choices leave me with confusion. Should I take the risk and do what I want, although I am not sure of what awaits to me? Or should I accept the job which my scholarship offers to me? Would it be ungrateful if I say no to them? But how about my freedom to choose?

Those were only some of the questions on my mind. But whatever choice I made, I know that at the end of the day…It would still lead me to happiness. Greater or lesser happiness?- that I still do not know

 

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